Packing My Bags

This week Dan and I are flying to Chicago. I can’t count how many times we have made this same trip……..well over twenty five. All those years ago I would never have thought it would become a yearly gift. But every year, the week before Christmas we pack a bag of heavy sweaters and pants and our “Chicago” coats and boots and head to the Windy City. Because, like most people, I have a birthday. Every year. However, I happen to have a Christmas birthday that got overlooked most all the years of my growing up. Three days before Christmas often results in a personal celebration getting lost in the shuffle.

I often accompanied Dan to Chicago for speaking engagements about 25 years ago and I fell in love with the city. After a couple years of going there because of business, we began to go there for sheer pleasure and it became my annual birthday trip. One I cherish and look forward to all year long.

I am telling you this because this trip is probably not high on Dan’s list of favorite things to do. He hates the cold. He hates the traffic (we never drive. Did that once and understood why most Chicago cars are beat up). He isn’t a shopper and he doesn’t like crowds. Yet, each year at this time he never hesitates to book our tickets early, goes on priceline.com and gets us a four-star hotel on the Magnificent Mile, one of the most incredible shopping Meccas in the Nation, packs all his winter-weather gear, shuts down his computer and turns his brain to “vacation-mode” and off we go.

He does it for me. It’s as simple as that. For almost half our married life, each year I know Dan willingly and joyfully makes this happen because he loves me and he is willing to invest in our marriage even when it means going out of his comfort zone. For that simple reason, this trip is more than a tribute to me or a celebration of my birthday. It is a special gift from Dan that says, “I love you!” in a way that simple words can’t embrace. And that makes the trip extra special.

A few days ago, our neighbor friends, Leigh and Olin went with us to dinner. Olin is a good-lookin’-out-doorsy kinda’ guy and the place we went to is a plantation house noted for its tea rooms. They have over 120 flavors of loose-leaf teas they brew for you. They bring pretty cozy-wrapped teapots to your table with the specially brewed flavor of your choice for you to pour into dainty cups with flowers on them. Not exactly a man-kinda’ place! Leigh was so excited about going and told me she was in Heaven since she loves tea and Victorian décor. Olin didn’t balk at joining in the fun and even adorned a hat for a picture pose (there are many on the walls for patrons to wear if they desire to be festive).

That evening reminded me of the deposits Dan makes in our relationship that make a lasting impression. I saw Olin doing the same thing for Leigh. It was sweet and it was a statement that said, “I love you enough to go where you want me to go”. Powerful. It is the foundation of a great marriage. The willingness to love enough to give of yourself even when it isn’t in your comfort zone. It’s like giving a gift you simply can’t afford but you want to do it because of the incredible blessing it gives to both giver and recipient. You simply can’t invest too much in a relationship if you want it to be rich, vibrant and long-lasting. Dan sees that. Olin sees that. And Leigh and I feel blessed.

Valentine’s Day is always my favorite holiday. I have some great stories I have written about the ways Dan and I have invested in our long marriage to make it the best it can be. This Valentine’s Day we are going to be on a cruise in the Caribbean. I have some great tools to share with those who come on this cruise with us that will encourage them to invest in their relationships more abundantly whether it is with a spouse, friend, parent or child. I can’t wait to share them. Hope to see a bunch of you on Valentine’s Day this year! However, right now I am going back to packing for my Chicago trip! Happy Birthday to ME!